Keeping it weird straight outta portland!
Mass Your Murder
The Sitch
I created Mass Murder Crow Dough, with 14 carefully, and consciously curated, crow cravings. It is a mouthful! Smash it down, or ball it up, to toss to individual buddies. Any way you dish it out, Crow Dough is the magic, that turns YOU, into their favorite part of the day!!
Caw Caw for Crow Dough!
Gimme, gimme (more)
Gimme (more)
Gimme, gimme (Dough)!
Mass Murder Crow Dough
The Wish List
Get a little bougie with your birds
Millet, rolled oats, whole red wheat, cracked corn, puffed rice, oatmeal
Of course I got the dog stuff! But, it gets way better. I folded in 6 whole grains, scrambled a couple dozen whole eggs, chopped up some fruits, and veg, baked 3 kinds of potatoes It IS a big ol' mouthful of awesome! Power food for your "Air Chimps". It looks a bit like a meatloaf, acts like a cookie dough, and tastes like a bribe, they'll beg you to take. A lot. So.....be super sure, you want this relationship with your birds, because it does turn them into winged stalkers.
Apples, pears, cucumber. Russies, yams, sweet potato.
whole eggs, dog kibble
Go down in Crow Legend
Just a whole lotta ingredients, loved by Corvids!
I always have a personal, crow escort, on all long, neighborhood walks. We have long conversations, waiting for Tri-Met, and my car isn't making any slick entrances, either!
Chef's Kiss
The neighborhood comes to you!! Or, follows you around, like you're the best human, EV-errrrr!
Pssssst!
Ready to bribe your local murder?
Small batched, in my local Portland kitchen, weekly.
Yummo!
Only sharing this
with the coolest Oregonian homies.
Jealous?!?
Looks like a meatloaf, acts like cookie dough, tastes like a bribe they'll beg you to take!
More efficient for Jason, Juanita, & the Johans, in chunks
It's a "smash burger" served ala fence top, for Range 5 Charlie & crew.
If Jason had his druthers, this would go on, ALL day!
Jason & new baby, Jack Sprite. Got Jack on the good, good. Took him 1 day, to stop asking Jason for food!
Coming in hot!
How we do it!
Gimme Crow Dough!
Mass Your Murder
I have different murders, in different locations.
The way they eat, varies for each family, generally dictated by available location.
I had to train Charlie to the fence, and Portifoy & Marisol, to the sidewalk, or street, to get around a rule, about not feeding my birds, on the property.
Once they taste my Crow Dough, training them, is a snap! It's like Crow "cr@ck", only healthy snacking, just as addictive!!
Gimme Crow Dough!
Mass Your Murder
How 2 Make Friends with Crows
The Hook-Up
I'll take orders till Friday. Break out the kettle, {including the oven, now} and batch up over the week-end, for that Granny magick. Sent your way, come Monday. Rinse, repeat. Grab yours, before they're "Gone daddy gone"!
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Jason shoplifted the pootie. Watch out for stalkers, and theives!!
Oregon's finest flyers deserve the best, so I've tweaked the logistics to keep your costs low. At just $18 including the ride, it's a steal that'll have the neighborhood jays jealous. One pound of pure joy delivered right to your roost. No bird-brained hidden fees here. Ready to be the most popular human on the block? Call em in!
Mass your murder
"Cookie Cuddles"
MASS MURDER CROW DOUGH
Join the Murder
The sky is the limit when we're together. Stay tuned for more Corvid magic coming your way. Portland proud, crow loud.